A Toast For The Heartbreakers
Google search “heartbreak” and what do you find?
**Broken souls of the world unite**
Hundreds upon hundreds of articles all directed toward the heartbroken; an endless library of empathy and lotion infused tissue coupons. A dreary supply of scientific explanations, guides, coping techniques, books, positive affirmations, and of course the latest juice cleanse to piss the pain away.
But what about the heartbreaker?
**Broken souls of the world unite in a diabolically confused laugh**
Yeah, believe it or not, being the heartbreaker is emotionally traumatizing in it’s own way.
The fact of the matter is- the heartbreaker is the bad guy. Left to console themselves and manage any emotions they feel internally.
And while most of us have experienced both spectrums of heartbreaking, this article is for the distraught heartbreakers.
So…
Welcome to my TedTalk.
Let’s start off by explaining that “breaking hearts” is not a hobby. It’s not something you do for fun to add another “notch to your belt.”
So for anyone who thinks this article is about “playing the field” and you’re looking for support… F**k off.
No- this article is for the real people, who care and feel deeply and don’t want to hurt others. The people who had to break up with someone they truly love and care for, but their hearts just weren’t fully in it.
For some of you, it may have been your healthiest relationship to date that had to end. Your significant other could have been a wonderful man/woman, who treated you beyond well. But at the end of the day, your gut was screaming at you and no matter how badly you wanted to make it work, in order to save yourself (and ultimately them) the relationship had to end, and a heart had to break.
This article is for you, the people out there who are heartbroken from breaking another’s heart.
Now if you resonate with any of the above statements, you need to hear this…
You did the right thing.
First and foremost, YOU must always come first.
If you are ever in a position where you are staying with someone to avoid or delay hurting him or her, you are not only being unfair to them but to yourself- and you both deserve better than that. There is no such thing as a healthy relationship built on sacrificing your own wellbeing to make it work.
It’s healthy and ok to do what you need to do for yourself.
Trust your instincts and listen to your gut; it will always point you in the direction of what is best for YOU. Be reassured knowing you do not need a single person to agree that your gut is right or wrong. Stand strong, confident, and validated in your instinct- they will never lead you astray.
Now is also a great time to take a step back and remember that heartbreak is inevitable. With every relationship, we all sign up for potential heartbreak. It’s an unwritten agreement. Take into consideration that the heartbreak you (both) are feeling in this moment, is immensely less painful than the unavoidable heartbreak you would experience weeks, months, maybe even years down the road.
Lets also not forget about the potential bright sides of this hurt. When relationships end, it’s a beautiful opportunity for growth and vulnerability. While heartbreaking may seem destructive, it’s an effective way of rebuilding and evolving.
And the last thing you need to hear is that it is ok to be hurting. Hurting someone you care for is hard, and you need to offer yourself some compassion for doing it.
Empathy is a superpower, especially in the world we live in today. Being an empathetic person who cares for others feelings and hearts is a great way to be and the world needs more people like you.
But don’t you dare let that power hurt you. You take care of yourself. Have empathy for yourself and what you deserve in this world.
So… here is a toast to you, the heartbreaker, for being brave and fearless in pursuit of what you deserve in this world, for putting yourself first, and for making the hard decisions that are propelling you towards your most true and beautiful life.
**Broken hearts of the world nod in agreement**
